Why Am I Here?

I am a Christian that struggles with my faith; needless to say I’m not the only one.  I often justify sinful actions due to the ambiguity of faith itself, so I have decided to create a blog that reflects my struggles with faith in God and the person of Jesus.  My hope is to be able to reflect on various issues of faith in order to help myself grow in God, and to help others who may be struggling with the same issues but have been fearful to proclaim them.

I am a seminary graduate, but I do not present the faith in God that should be required for aspiring ministers.  I originally went to seminary to teach high school, but after becoming disillusioned with Christian “education” (I say that because most Christian institutions that are K-12 specialize in indoctrinations rather than educations), I have now begun a process of self-reflection to determine the next step of my life.  I am not a Bible expert, nor am I a theology expert.  I consider myself a semi-educated novice in these areas.

I will be brutally honest with my opinions, for which I apologize.  It may seem “unChristian” to express certain opinions that paint the Church in a negative light, like saying most Christian institutions indoctrinate students, but I do not believe Jesus’ church on earth should silently censor its members in the name of unity.  Give me a voice to express my displeasure and let us work through the issues so that we may mutually grow together.

I expect a majority of my posts to address issues facing the church, rather than issues within the church (with which many of my seminary professors seem to be preoccupied).  As such, I would like to be a voice to the unbeliever to help him/her understand a believer’s point of view while also being  a voice to the believer on behalf of the unbeliever on these topics.  I have discovered that both sides often talk over each other rather than to each other; it’s time to start meaningful dialogues rather than continuing the virtual shouting matches.

Topics that I know I will address include atheism (oh boy), science & evolution and their deserved places as partners in developing a balanced faith in God, the beliefs of other religious systems including non-Christian and heterodox Christian systems and how they affect us, the damage caused by fundamentalists in evangelism, Israeli/Palestinian conflicts, and other perceived “hot” topics of today.  I read about these all the time, and I need this venue to express my opinion on them.

If I offend you or your belief, allow me to apologize in advance.  I will argue, but I will try to do it in a Christ-like way.  I do not think arguing is bad, I think arguing out of anger is bad.  I pray that I do not succumb to arguing out of anger or malice, but the topics I plan to address cannot avoid pressing emotional triggers.  Hopefully I can let reason, and not emotion, be the prevailing force of my arguments and opinions.

So that’s why I’m here.  I am a conflict-driven person that wants to have a voice on certain issues, and I feel that the church does not always provide the necessary venue for me to speak, nor would I want to neglect the opinions of people inside and outside the church that I may be addressing.  My goal is to grow through complete honesty and rational discussion.  From there, I hope to discover more of why God made me this way and how I can better serve Him.

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